Expectations

On the road to Emmaus, some disciples of Jesus meet a stranger who appears to have no knowledge of the events of the Passion. They explain how Jesus had been crucified and according to the testimony of some women, was alive, adding "we were hoping that he would be the one to redeem Israel...". Jesus, for that is who the stranger was, says "How foolish you are. How slow of heart to believe all the prophets spoke..."

Lack of belief is hardly what those of the time would think was their problem. They had a very clear idea of what the prophets "spoke" and the crucifixion itself was the result of their belief that Jesus did not fulfill the scriptural predictions. They believed very strongly; what Jesus was saying is that were also believing wrongly.

How often do our expectations get in the way of what God wants to do in our lives? We believe that God "should" act in certain ways and if God doesn't, we are disappointed. "We were hoping..." but our expectations were not met and so we complain. We do the same with other people. We set up expectations of those in our lives and they are judged against this standard. They constantly audition for the part of best lover or friend and often fail.

What if it is we who are failing? What if it is we who are foolish and slow to believe?

What if the function of our personal encounters is to be a chance for us to learn to love others as they are and not as how we wish they would be?

It may all come down to Acceptance. Perhaps acceptance frees another to honor who they are themselves and gives them, in turn, the love that they need to be able to accept others the way they are. Perhaps love is a circle that starts with one person setting aside expectations and receiving another with openness.

My head argues with this notion because it seems to imply approval of some behaviors which simply cannot be condoned. There are lines one cannot allow others to cross and still remain a safe and compassionate society.

I think that part of that answer lies with St. Augustine: "with love for mankind and hatred of sin..." or, as Mohandas Ghandi put it, "hate the sin, not the sinner."

As for the part that is simply annoyance and not sin, maybe praying for the grace not to be bothered is more likely to bear fruit than asking that another live up to whatever it is that "we had been hoping...".