Psychic Pain

As Mom continues to hang on to the last threads of her physical life, I'm struck by how tempting it is to hang onto our own psychic pain. There is something comforting about it. Like an old friend, it knows who we are – and reassures us that we know who we are -the victim, the abused or even the school bully. However negative, at least it’s an identity. Changing it is frightening.

Letting go of hurt or of anger requires that we change and move out of automatic responses and perspectives. Of course my mother was emotionally unavailable! Of course my spouse doesn’t understand me or meet my needs! Of course that group is responsible for my lot in life! Of course…of course…of course

And then one day, God gives us the opportunity to see things differently and accept the healing we’ve prayed for or the forgiveness that we need. It requires merely a decision on our part to change the words to the tune we’ve been singing all our life – to “take every thought captive” and replace our Of course with I used to think…

We can live in the past that we can’t change or change the today that we can.