Righting Christmas Wrongs

Well, it's over. The Christmas good times are a memory, the New Year's revels are still to come and all that's left are the exchanges of the mistakes under the tree. The size smalls which were too large and the size larges that were too small will be tossed onto the Clearance rack and gift cards will purchase what the wearer really wanted instead. Because of the Blizzard of 2010, the swap was delayed while the roads were cleared, but it was only a temporary pause. Everything wrong will soon be made right back at the malls.

What will remain in the hearts of those who celebrated, though, are the memories of that which wasn't under the tree: the relationships that got strengthened or weakened during the "I'll Be Home for Christmas" moments. What we choose to retain about the holidays is as much our decision now as the reality of our interactions last week. We can focus on any slights or failed expectations or we can let go of judgments and pray for inner peace.

For me, the holiday was wonderful, but not everyone in the world had a Hallmark experience. The resulting temptation to nurse those wounded feelings is really, really strong in all of us. Love, the scripture says, does not "brood over injury," but the mind doesn't easily give up its anger at being hurt. We want to distance ourselves and protect ourselves, and, at the same time, we also hope that this distance causes another some pain in return. We create a somewhat illusionary sense of control over them by not being open to reconciliation.

There's no better way, however, to continue feeling emotional pain than to continue to hold a grudge. The pain is ever present because the person is ever present in his/her worst moments. Holding onto that picture guarantees that we will never be free and that inner peace will always be just out of our grasp. Giving the hurt to God and praying for inner peace will lead to far more happiness than agonizing over the hurt in a desperate attempt to understand it. In most cases, we never will.

Peace should be the end we seek. The Christmas cards we all received expressed many wishes for it, but only we can choose to embrace it as our goal. The alternative is life as a victim of the carelessness of others or the care-less-ness of others, but the outcome is the same: darkness and pain for ourselves.

Walk in the Light, St. John tells us. St. Paul tells us how: Love does not brood over injury.